Bah...Humbug?

With the Christmas season upon we have a all of the Christmas carols upon us. A ton of them or good, but I do have some requests:

1. I don't want to hear any fart versions of any songs. I heard one of "Silent Night" this week, and it wasn't funny. It was awful
2. I don't want dogs barking "Jingle Bells"
3. I also don't want cats meowing "Jingle Bells". Heck, let just ban any song made out of animal songs.
4. Since I am no longer 10, and I have heard this song about a million times. I want a ban on "Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer" If I ever have kids I will allow it back in my house.
5. Why don't we hear more of the newer Christmas songs? I like the classics fine, but on the radio it seems you have about a 12 song rotation. Lets bust out some new tunes.
6. Also there are a bunch of fairly old tunes that you never hear on the radio. Like "I Believe in Father Christmas" by Emerson, Lake, and Palmer just to name one off the top of my head.
   

Lets just make some changes. That is all I am saying.

You Probably Think This Post Is About You

Most, if not everybody suffers from vanity in one form or another. I used to work with a guy who would borrow money from me to buy diapers for his baby, but he wore a couple thousand dollars in gold chains and rings.

I also have a friend who for a while seemed like he could rub to nickels together, but was driving a new car every couple of years.

I am not immune myself. I wear a baseball cap most of the time. Usually, because I am too lazy to fix it. Sometimes though. Sometimes it is because I have tried my hair in a couple of different styles. I didn't like how it looked. Got pissed, and just threw a hat on.

That is nothing compared to one lady I know. Now I have known her for quite a few years, and in the entire time and I have never seen her walk by a mirror with out at least pausing to check herself out. It was one of those things I had seen in a TV show, but I never imagined people like that really existed. They are out there though.

Sometimes she will stop to fiddle with her hair. Sometimes she will actually stand there and pose. It doesn't bother me at all. I find it pretty funny myself.

Yes, I am wearing a hat today.

Dream a little dream

Now I am not one who often remembers his dreams, but I had one this morning that has stuck with me. It went like this:

I was in the house that I was raised in. In the house I was being chased by a wasp. Not a giant wasp. Not like a hundred wasps. Just one single, solitary wasp. And it had me freaked out. I was running all over the house trying to get away, but it just kept chasing me. I never felt comfortable in the dream to squash it. Now the funny (funny-strange) part is that the entire time "Suffragette City" by David Bowie is playing the entire time. It was like a chase scene in a movie, and that was the theme song.

Finally, I am on the ground, and I have a couple of books in my hand. I am waving them frantically at the wasp using the wind I create to keep it at bay, but I can never get rid of it. The persistent bastard. I quit waving the books and the wasp proceeds to land on my fingers. I slowly turn my hand up side down and squash the bugger. That is when I wake up. When I do, that damn song is still playing in my head, and has been all day now.

Ahoy! Ahoy!

This is part of an actual phone conversation I had with a customer this week:

Customer: "Mr. Ladd faxed me over some documents earlier, and I lost them. Can you re-fax them to me?"

ME: "Uh, sure. What did he fax you?"

Customer: "I don't know."

Me:"Well if you don't know. I certainly don't know."

_________________________________________________

Was that rude of me? Maybe, but that was probably as nice as I could be about it. I was much, much ruder (or more rude?) to another customer earlier.

The Time is Now

Well seeing as how it is now December 5th. I think I can take my swim suit home from my bosses' house.

Wow that is awfully short...uhh, go Cowboys!

I Just Need a Little Chill

With the coming winter a just a little nip in the air I get to enjoy my favorite foods of soup, stew or chili. Last night I made a batch of chili, and broke down and made some corn bread as well.

I don't want to hurt myself too much patting myself on the back, but the chili was awesome. My cornbread was alright, but I am a little out of practice on that. I need to get my cornbread making chops back. I was really full after the one bowl, but I went back and had another bowl about 2/3 full. Good stuff especially on a chilly night.

Happy Happy! Joy Joy!

My pal, Rob, tagged me a while back on a meme on what makes me happy. That list follows:

1. I am happy. No. No. I am fucking ecstatic that I currently don’t have a long commute to work any more. It is just a few miles. After just a couple of days of fighting traffic during Wizard World weekend. I really appreciate not having to go through that crap. Including having one highway completely shut down for construction Saturday morning.

2. In a few weeks my brother makes his annual trip here, and that is cool because it is when our old gaming group gets together. We usually go out to dinner somewhere and then actually have a night of gaming. Anything from Trivial Pursuit, to Zombies, to Scene It. Maybe bowling.

3. When I first come home and the dogs are there to greet me.

4. When something I cook comes out perfectly.

5. Catching an episode of one of my favorite shows that I haven’t seen in years.

6. Going to my family reunion every year.

That’s it, that’s the list for now

Oh, and “I’m only happy when it rains”